


Blame Game

by huevoplatano



Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Light Bondage, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Pining, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Telekinesis, Unrequited Love, now with raihop!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huevoplatano/pseuds/huevoplatano
Summary: Avery has fallen in love with Hop upon coming to the Isle of Armor, but Hop seems to have feelings for someone else.
Relationships: Hop/Kibana | Raihan, Savory | Avery/Hop
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> please heed the tags! this isn't a nice fic

Letting out a rather long, drawn out sigh, Avery leaned back in his chair as an unpleasant wave of heat fell over him. Ever since coming to the Isle of Armor, the days were only getting hotter and hotter. Much too hot for a top hat and dress socks, but Avery couldn’t really bear to part with them, as much as it pained him to sweat like he was, it was a small price to pay in exchange for a fashion statement.

Most of the students had exited the dojo, running amok either by training or wandering off to do their own thing. Hop was no exception to this.

With his chin placed in his palm as he leaned over the table, Avery let out another short, softer sigh as he gazed out the window. It had been months since the aspiring Pokémon professor had come to the island, to which he and Avery hit it off pretty fast, if he said so himself. Hop was unlike the rest of the students, as he hadn’t come to train for the sake of battling, but more interested in helping Master Mustard with field work and discovering things he couldn’t normally experience in Galar. In that regard, the two of them were a lot alike. Hop often struggled with his aspirations and goals while Avery had struggled with his own dreams of being a gym leader. The both of them were still fighting toward their dreams, and often times when he’d sit down with him during field work, long after the sun went down, Hop sometimes spoke about his older brother.

The champion (or former champion now) had been Hop’s idol and hero for the longest time, to the point he was sure that’s what he wanted to do with his life as well. Best the gym challenge, face off against his brother in the pitch, and become Galar’s new champion. But—

Avery could tell early on, despite Hop’s optimistic outlook on life, his adorable gushing about his brother sometimes that bordered on obsessive, that Hop himself was holding back a lot of his own baggage. Avery could relate—as he had come from a family that looked down upon him for his powers—that is—the _lack_ of powers he exhibited. Avery couldn’t teleport. Couldn’t communicate via telepathy. His psychic powers only stemmed as far as lifting objects in the air, and that was cause enough for his family to practically disown him.

Hop’s family didn’t necessarily look down on him, but Avery could sense it, even without him having said so directly, that Hop was living in his brother’s shadow. All of his accomplishments pretty much meant nothing when Leon was the one in the limelight. Many a night had Avery spent living in the shadows of his family’s accomplishments, many times had he been shut down for simply not exuding the same amount of power they possessed, and he often found himself alone, alone and cast aside like garbage.

In that sense, he felt Hop could relate to him, if just even a little. The both of them had their fair share of hardships after all—they both lived in the shadows of former successors, so—Avery had often found himself smiling anytime that boy spoke to him. Anytime he’d run up to him after field work, showing off a new plant he’d discovered, or going on and on about a new Pokémon that wandered around nearby. It was quite endearing seeing him so full of energy, so full of passion for what it was that he did. Avery wished he could find a spark like that with his own passions, but lately that spark had only appeared whenever Hop was there.

Then the heat began to gather in his face. 

Because it took Avery way too long to realize he might actually—perhaps _maybe_ —just a sliver—have feelings for that boy. It made sense after all. Only when Hop bounded up to him, that bright smile on his face, did Avery ever feel like smiling back. Only around Hop did he feel relaxed, comfortable enough to tell him anything, and only around Hop did Avery begin to gather heat in his cheeks, develop a bundle of nerves down in the pit of his stomach, and a constricting feeling in his chest anytime Hop so much as looked up at him through those long eyelashes.

Why had it taken him so long to realize how absolutely _beautiful_ Hop was? How kind he was? How his zest for life and seemingly endless energy could put Avery in the best mood no matter how depressed he had been, how sour his mood had dipped. Hop always managed to make it better—without even trying. Without even realizing.

Things weren’t awkward, but they were definitely different. Avery began to feel so nervous around Hop that he had taken to avoiding him—but not out of any dislike for this. No. He was happier than he had ever been in a long time, but he was afraid of saying anything to him—fear that Hop would think differently of him, and more often than not, he found himself shut up inside the dojo, taking care of the various Pokémon and stealing glancing out the window every once in awhile just in case he caught sight of Hop wandering around.

But Avery was tired of walking on eggshells around him. Fear be damned, he had to get his feelings out in the open or he would go insane. There were a thousand thoughts running through his mind at all times, different scenarios that would play out for what would happen if he ever confessed his feelings, how Hop would react, how awful this situation could potentially wind up being, or how wonderful it could be.

In the end, he settled with a flower.

Avery had combed the island in search of something exotic that Hop might be interested in, and he found a bush that grew hibiscus flowers near one of the beaches. With summer in full swing, the flowers were blooming and looked too gorgeous to ignore. A bright yellow one (just like Hop’s eyes) was plucked from the bush before Avery took off in search of Hop. It might have been a little silly to get him a flower, but he wasn’t sure how else to convey his feelings. If nothing else, he just hoped this would be a good enough ice breaker to pave the way for when he opened up to him.

It couldn’t hurt, after all. Right?

After a quick search, Avery spotted Hop a distance away at the train station. Apparently, there was some older, taller gentleman there with him, and even from where Avery stood, could see Hop had a giant grin plastered on his face. No word on the other man though, as his back was facing him, but it became apparent that Hop hadn’t seen him yet, and Avery stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the fragments of a conversation between the two.

“—discovered the other day, but not like you to visit out of the blue like this.”

The taller man chuckled, reaching down to ruffle Hop’s hair, receiving an annoyed, but light-hearted ‘hey!’ from him. “Yeah well, took me long enough to get away from the gym. Wouldn’t wanna miss out on seeing my favorite person, you know?”

The way they were speaking so casually to one another—it was obvious this man was someone Hop knew, but Avery couldn’t help himself. Before Hop could spy him from across the way, he tucked himself behind a patch of shrubbery, far off enough he couldn’t be seen, but still close enough to make out what they were saying. The flower in his hands felt so small and frail then.

Hop beamed up at the man. “I’m your favorite person?” Then a tint of blush appeared, one that Avery couldn’t have missed if he tried. Why on earth was Hop blushing? Who was this man? What gave him the right to think he was allowed to have Hop smile up at him like that?

The man crossed his arms, Avery able to hear the smile in his words alone. “The only one, love. I wanted to come sooner, but you know.” He shrugged. “They keep me busy.”

Hop nodded, that blush still never leaving his face, which Avery took extra note of. Without realizing, he had squeezed the hibiscus in his hands, almost crushing the petals between his palms. “I know, but I’m glad you’re here. I missed you, Rai.”

The taller man—‘Rai’—placed his palm on Hop’s shoulder, giving him a small squeeze. “Missed you too, love. Now why don’t you show me around? Get me acquainted and whatnot?”

Hop’s face lit up, the same expression he often gave Avery—that he was now giving to this man. This random man who showed up out of nowhere. Avery had never seen him before, so who the hell was he? Who was he to Hop?

Avery swallowed, the flower all but crushed in his hands. Did Hop…have feelings for this man?

The pair tore off down the path toward the dojo, passing by Avery who was still hidden in the shrubbery, never once noticing him. Their nonsensical conversation continued on, fading away as they soon disappeared from view.

Now alone, Avery emerged from the shrubbery, the flower having been completely crushed in his hands, and his heart was pounding so damn hard. Hard enough that he was breathing heavy from it, cold sweat prickling his forehead and the back of his neck, his palms trembling.

His chest never hurt more in his life, not even when his father and mother screamed at him for his lack of psychic powers. Not even when he was left alone to himself with nobody there to comfort him. Not even when his father called him a disappointment.

None of those things hurt as much as this did, and he almost wanted to cry. The way Hop had looked at that man—just _looked_ at him, even from where he was, Avery could see it in his eyes. Hop had feelings for him. There was no need for words. No need for it to be spelled out to him. Avery wasn’t stupid, he could read Hop’s body language, see the expression on his face, the look in his eyes. He was in love, and that broke Avery’s heart.

But at the same time, who did that other man—that ‘Rai’ fellow—who did he think he was? Waltzing here on the island and bothering Hop like that? Who gave him the _right_ —who was this person to think he had any right to act like he and Hop were best pals? He hadn’t been the one to stay out past dark with Hop—he hadn’t been the one to camp out with him, he wasn’t the one Hop opened up to, admitted his darker feelings to, his insecurities, his passions, his fears, his…

Avery swallowed, the crushed hibiscus having fallen from his hand at some point. What was that man to Hop? He couldn’t take this. If he didn’t hear it from Hop himself, he would go crazy, he knew. He should have known from the start that giving Hop a flower and attempting to confess to him was childish and stupid. Of course, Hop wouldn’t feel the same for him.

Who in their right mind would ever love Avery? Certainly not Hop.

He gritted his teeth, hands balling into fists as he stood there, the sun beating down on his back and only reminding him how miserable and muggy it was. His embarrassment didn’t help at all and only fueled the heat in his body, until Avery was ready to dunk himself in the sea to alleviate the embarrassment itself.

But he stared off in the distance toward the dojo, and his chest was getting tighter, tighter, until he knew what he had to do. If he didn’t hear Hop say those words to his face, he would never get any peace, he knew that. Avery had to talk to him. He had to get Hop to tell him the truth. Did he love that man? Who was that man to him? Were they just friends?

And—

Blush coated his cheeks as he bit his lower lip.

And…would he ever offer those feelings to Avery?

* * *

“Hop, would it be alright to join you?” As he spoke, Avery sidled up next to Hop who was just packing a few things into his bag. At the question, Hop perked up, giving him a smile when he did so.

“Sure! You don’t always have to ask.”

Blush coated his cheeks, but Avery tried his hardest to quell the creeping feelings that were invading his thoughts. Best to keep those on the back burner for now. “I simply do not wish to impose.”

“You aren’t imposing. I like having you around.”

Oh…there was no way to hide the heat on his face from _that_ one, but Avery tried his best, offering Hop a small smile in return. “In that case, I shall return. There are a few things I must grab as well.”

Hop nodded, giving him a small wave. “Okay! I’ll wait for you outside.”

Once the pair parted, Hop having exited the dojo to run on ahead, Avery ventured toward the back room that served as the students’ sleeping quarters. Not everyone got their own room unfortunately, but Avery didn’t exactly mind having to share his space with a few other students. Just so long as they didn’t touch his stuff, he didn’t really care about having bunk mates. Everyone here was pretty conscientious about keeping their hands to themselves, and he was never that worried about someone digging through his things.

His bag was slung around the backend of one of the desk chairs and he grabbed hold of it, unzipping it to reveal its contents. He didn’t really need to use his bag all that often anymore, not like he did during his gym challenger days, but it would come in handy for today. The sight of the rope inside made him grimace a little—just a little, but he had the strangest feeling he might need it, and it wouldn’t hurt to have a little bit of it on hand, especially if Hop was planning to go out and explore.

With a bit of a hardened sigh, Avery slung his bag over his shoulder before he made a beeline for the entrance to the dojo. Just like Hop had said, he was waiting for him not far ahead, spotting Avery as he exited the dojo and giving him a wave to usher him over. Avery didn’t need convincing. In no time flat, the pair were walking down the path toward the wetlands.

It had been a few days since that Rai fellow had visited, Avery taking note how Hop had spent every waking moment with the man, never so much as glancing in his direction that entire time. But—while Avery wanted to argue with himself that Hop had every right to spend time with those who didn’t have as much free time as they did, it still left an incredibly bitter taste in his mouth. It might have been a few days, but Avery was just as unpleased by it now as he had been from day one.

Hop hadn’t noticed his dip in mood, though Avery couldn’t blame him. Whatever made him think Hop would ever bother himself with Avery’s troubles? It wasn’t as though he _wanted_ to burden him with his issues, but he still wished deep down that Hop had picked up on the fact Avery had gravitated away from him the entire time that Rai guy was here.

It only hammered in the fact that Hop was smitten with the other man, and that realization made Avery break out in a cold sweat all over again. Try as he might to compose himself, he knew he was losing it, little by little, until he was ready to burst.

The pair spent about an hour out in the wetlands, Hop surveying the Pokémon that wandered around, either by studying their habits or taking note of the fauna that grew there. He was a perceptive person, always interested in what was going on around him. While Avery didn’t offer much in lieu of his research, he could at least offer his company. Just as the sun began to set, a few droplets of rain fell, and Hop let out a sigh as he looked to the sky.

“Damn, I didn’t realize it’d gotten so late. I don’t wanna go back.” He shot Avery an apologetic look. “If you wanna head back to the dojo before the rain hits, I’ll be fine.”

Avery shook his head. “Nonsense. I’m staying with you.” He pointed across the way, Hop following his gaze. “Brawler’s Cave is right here anyway. We can just camp out for the night.”

Hop’s entire face lit up, not even damped by the oncoming rain. “Oh! That’s perfect! I didn’t even realize we were right here.”

Avery had to laugh through his nose as the pair took off toward the cave, the rain beginning to drench the both of them. “You were so absorbed in your work, I’m surprised you even noticed the rain.”

“Oh, har har.”

With Brawler’s Cave right upon them, the two reached the entrance to the cave just as the torrent of rain came, and Hop wiped his forehead, letting out a sigh at the sight of the storm already billowing over.

“I didn’t think it could rain like this here.”

“We _are_ surrounded by the sea. The storms are a bit more aggressive than they’d be in Galar.”

Letting out a rather sheepish laugh, Hop rubbed the back of his head. “Y-yeah. Sorry you got caught up in this mess with me.” He unhooked his bag from around his shoulders, pulling out his camping supplies along with his tent.

Avery followed suit, pulling his gear from his own bag, freezing for a split moment when he caught sight of the rope tucked down into the bottom. His mouth quivered before he spoke, but he composed himself. “I-it’s alright. I don’t mind, really. I enjoy being with you.” The moment those words left his mouth, his cheeks heated up with embarrassment. Now was no time to be getting cold feet, but he couldn’t help it. Hop didn’t appear to notice his embarrassment, to which he was thankful for.

With their camping gear in hand, Hop led the pair toward the back of the cave, away from the storm that was only worsening the longer they stood there, before they finally found a nice corner to hunker down in. Hop wasted no time setting his tent up, along with a campfire, Avery following his lead and setting out his own things. He hadn’t planned to go camping tonight, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared for things like this. With a roaring campfire set between them, the pair finally settled down, the sounds of the storm from outside still audible from inside the cave.

The sun had set long ago, the only light from the cave being from their fire, but Avery wasn’t the type to be afraid of the dark. At least he had Hop here with him—that in itself was a comfort.

But, the longer he sat there next to him, chatting with him about nonsensical things, that horrible feeling began to resurface once again, and Avery bit the bottom of his lip before averting his gaze from Hop.

“Hop?” While his voice wasn’t quivering, he could feel his throat tighten, and feared that he might break down before he could even get out what all he had to say. “Can I ask you something?”

At that, Hop perked up, having had his knees bunched up to his chin, but he lifted his head. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

The image of that man was on his mind—the one Hop was overly familiar with, who laughed and carried on like they were best friends or something, but Avery swallowed. His jealousy was getting the better of him, but there was a possibility he had simply misread that entire meeting between the two. Maybe they really were just overly affectionate friends.

That snide voice in the back of his head reminded him how stupid that was, and how Avery already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask. But, he did it anyway, taking a gulp before he opened his mouth. “Th-that man who was here before. The very tall one…”

“Raihan?” Hop finished, giving Avery a curious stare.

 _Ugh_ , that name sent that bitter taste in the back of his throat crashing back full force, and it took all of Avery’s willpower not to spit at the sound of it. Especially coming from Hop’s mouth—that name was **_foul_**. “Yes…that man. What is he to you?”

Leaning back to stretch his legs a bit, Hop shrugged, but even out of the corner of his eye, Avery could see a faint tinge of blush on his face as he tried a desperate attempt to remain nonchalant. He was failing. “I’ve known him for a while. I mean—he _is_ one of the gym leaders after all. We’re mates I guess you could say.”

It was almost painful how Hop’s face betrayed his words. If nothing else, Avery liked to think he was observant, and as he tore his gaze away from a random part of the wall, he looked back over toward Hop to see his eyes lidded, his cheeks red, and it almost made him lose it. Why was Hop lying to him like this? Why cover up the fact that he and Raihan were more than _‘mates’?_ Before he could stop himself, Avery opened his mouth. “Do you love him?”

And Hop’s reaction said it all. The moment he asked that, Hop whipped over to face him, his face absolutely _gushing_ with blush, so much so that Avery could have sworn he felt the heat seep over toward him, but the sight of Hop caught in a blatant trap like this made him frown, especially when he tried to deny it. “N-no…I mean. I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?” How could Hop say that? Look how he was reacting—look at his fucking body language—he was fidgeting, twiddling his fingers while his face was on fire, red all the way to the tips of his ears _. Of course_ , he loved Raihan. Avery could see that plain as day.

And that fucking _pissed him off._

Never once during all their time together had Hop ever mentioned having feelings for someone. Never once did Hop ever open up to him about his relationships, or anything of that matter, so who the hell did this Raihan guy think he was, dragging his happy ass over to the island like this and seducing Hop? Avery could tell, just by looking at him, that guy was no good, no good for Hop, who was so trusting and kind toward those around him, he knew the moment he set eyes on that guy, that he would probably break Hop’s heart, and Avery couldn’t allow that.

And that wasn’t just his jealousy talking.

Hop never responded to him, but his silence was just as guilty as any affirmation, and Avery was fidgeting in his seat as well. Just seeing that look on Hop’s face, the way his eyes glazed over at the mention of Raihan, the way his entire face softened at the mere _mention of him_ —Avery knew that look all too well. Hop was in love with that man. And he couldn’t allow that.

Before he could stop himself, Avery was off the ground, clambering toward Hop who had no time to react before Avery gripped hold of his face in both hands, surprising the hell out of Hop who yelped at it when he brought him close—and kissed him.

There was a moment when Hop didn’t move below him. He remained lax in Avery’s hold, as though allowing the kiss to happen, which Avery was all too happy to oblige, but that one moment of serenity that Avery experienced was ripped away from him too fast when Hop shoved against his chest, breaking the kiss when he caused Avery to stumble.

“What are you—?!”

“I love you.” Avery cut him off, reaching back over to grip hold of Hop’s shoulders so that he couldn’t back away from him, and the confession caused Hop to freeze once again, his eyes wide with shock, never once leaving Avery’s own. He said it again, maybe a bit desperate, but Avery knew he was desperate now. Everything about this was fucking desperate, but he didn’t care. “Hop, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now—I was too afraid to say anything, b-but it’s true.” Heat poured into his face, and he knew he had to be red right now, but he couldn’t stop looking into Hop’s eyes. They were wide with shock, and although he was frozen in his arms, Avery could feel him trembling beneath him, and he wanted so bad for Hop to look at him the way he did whenever he spoke about Raihan.

Where was that soft face he pulled earlier? Why couldn’t he look at Avery like that? It wasn’t fair.

Avery swallowed, trying to keep his emotions in check, but it was damn near impossible now. Cupping Hop’s face in his hands again, he could feel how soft his cheeks were, he could _feel_ the heat coming off him, and it was driving Avery crazy. He couldn’t help it. Before Hop could say anything or react further, Avery leaned into him again, giving him a much more fleeting kiss than before, but Hop jerked backwards, slamming his head to the side, and attempting to shove against Avery’s chest again, but it didn’t do much good. “Stop it!”

“Hop, I just want you to know that I love you.” His heart was pounding so hard, that it was becoming painful, Avery just short of hyperventilating when he began to breathe much heavier, but he quelled it. He quelled all of his emotions right now, because all he could focus on was Hop. The person in his arms, the person he just kissed twice, whom he loved so much, he knew it was true the moment he laid eyes on him—Hop was meant for him. Avery knew it.

“Look, I-I’m—” Hop stammered, still trying to back away from Avery, but he had returned that tight grip on his arms and Hop was going absolutely nowhere unless he attempted to brute force his way out of it, and—well, Avery had seen Hop’s highs and lows. He knew he wasn’t very strong, and though a pacifist at heart, he probably wouldn’t want to hurt Avery, no matter what. That should have made him feel guilty, but all Avery could think was what a wonderful person Hop was—and that Raihan guy did _not_ deserve his affections like this. He didn’t see what Avery saw. Raihan wouldn’t appreciate him like Avery would.

Again, Hop attempted to speak, but his lip was quivering so much it was difficult for the words to come out, and Avery was tempted to kiss him again, but he held off, wanting Hop to have his say.

Finally, he looked up at him, eyes still wide with what could only be described as creeping horror, but he spoke, Avery able to hear how hard he was trying not to let his voice quake. “I-I’m flattered, Avery, I-I really am. B-b-but—but, I-I don’t feel the same way.”

_I don’t feel the same way._

It was like every single one of Avery’s fears was manifesting right in front of him, and the shameful heat only swelled throughout his entire body. Here he was, throwing himself at Hop, desperate for his love to be understood, to be mutual—but, he already knew that Hop had feelings for Raihan. Avery knew that, and still, he went to these lengths. He had sunken as low as he could possibly go, and there was no going back from this point. Hop would never look at him the same again, he knew that. The embarrassment should have made him snap back to reality, release Hop, and excuse himself for his scandalous behavior.

But—

The heat in his stomach that had swarmed down as shame was boiling into rage, he could feel it. Every second that he spent here, holding onto Hop’s arms, wishing he had telepathy so that he could beam all of his words directly to Hop’s brain—so that he could _understand_ , so that he would come to understand why Avery felt this way. He wished he could teleport away—he wished—

Tears formed in his eyes, but Avery blinked them away.

He wished Raihan had never come here. He wished Hop had never met that man, never fell for him—he wished Hop could understand that Raihan was no good for him, that he would only break his heart the moment he caught sight of a better alternative—Avery knew. He knew what was best for Hop, even if Hop didn’t know that himself, Avery knew.

Despite his better judgement, his rage taking over full force, Avery gripped Hop’s shoulders so tight that he winced, but he ignored sounds like that in favor of pulling Hop close to him. His words were like spitting poison when he finally spoke, staring into Hop’s eyes that were becoming more drowned with horror by the moment. “He won’t love you like I will. That man—that Raihan person—he’ll just chew you up and spit you away.”

Hop’s face fell. “Don’t talk about him like that.”

“I’ll talk about him anyway I want to.” He just—Avery just wanted Hop to _understand._ Why couldn’t he see that that man was no good for him?

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Avery fell in love with him—with the only person on this wasteland of an island that he ever felt a true connection with—with the only person he felt had taken hold of his hand and pulled him straight out of the sludge. The only person who gave Avery the time of day, talked to him as though he were an actual person worthy of recognition, worthy of decency.

Tears formed in his eyes again, but Avery could do nothing to blink them away. They fell down his cheeks as he sat there gripping hold of Hop like he might blow away if he didn’t.

Hop was the first person he had met on this island to make Avery smile again. Hop allowed him to wake up in the mornings, glad to greet the day, excited for the possibilities, and eager to try his hardest to make something of himself. Avery had fallen for him so hard, he knew it was love—there was no other explanation for it.

And for Hop to direct his affections toward someone like Raihan, some person who wouldn’t appreciate Hop the way Avery would, it broke his heart. His chest hurt, it actually hurt at the thought of Hop gallivanting off with someone else, that Avery couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer.

With a firm push, he gripped hold of Hop’s arms and shoved him onto his back, climbing over him before he could scramble to his feet. Avery straddled him, sitting on his legs as Hop attempted to kick him off, but to no avail. When he gripped hold of his wrists, pushing all of his weight onto him, Hop could only look up at him in absolute horror.

“Av—Wh-what are you doing?!” Try as he might, Hop couldn’t release his wrists from Avery’s grip. He could feel him trying all right, but he knew Hop wasn’t very strong. He may as well have tried to break down a brick wall with his bare hands, because Avery wasn’t budging.

“I’m going to show you.” His voice was trembling, but Avery refused to falter. He refused to go anywhere until Hop understood his affections, his love for him. Right here and now, he was going to prove it to him whether he liked it or not.

“Get off!”

“No.” Bending over, Avery pressed his mouth against him, giving him a small kiss that Hop jerked his head away from, but when he did, Avery only kissed his jaw. He couldn’t help but smile at how soft Hop’s skin was against his mouth, and it made heat pour down between his legs. “I love you, Hop. I love you more than that Raihan man does.” It had to be true—it must have been true. Hop just didn’t understand what he wanted was all.

“Get off me!” Again, Hop thrashed below him, but Avery didn’t budge. He was much bigger than Hop, though nowhere near as tall as Raihan was by any means, but Hop was still overshadowed by his own body as he straddled him. He wasn’t going anywhere, not unless Avery said so.

“Don’t fuss so much. I’ll be gentle with you, I promise. I wouldn’t dream of hurting the person I love, Hop.” He leaned up, smiling down at him as he said so, but Hop was still giving him that horrified look, his eyes wide with terror as he struggled to crawl out from under him. It was almost sad how futile his efforts were, but Avery couldn’t help to think how adorable he looked as well.

Hop was too good for Raihan. Too good for anyone, really. Nobody bothered to take note of him, just like they never bothered to take note of Avery, but he had appreciated Hop long before anyone else did. He knew he loved him. He _knew_.

“Look—” Hop’s voice croaked when Avery attempted to bend over and kiss him again, grinding his crotch against him as he did so and causing Hop to let out a harsh gasp at the feeling. Even from here, even through their clothes, Avery could feel his bulge against his front, and it made him moan at the feeling of it. For him to be getting this excited for Hop, there was no doubt about his affections being genuine. Avery wouldn’t spare his lust for anyone other than someone he loved. “Avery—look, I-I’m flattered, okay, but you have to get off me. Y-you’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be afraid, Hop. I already said, I won’t hurt you.” He tried giving him a reassuring smile, but the way he could feel Hop shiver below him, seize up each time Avery kissed his jaw, he knew it wasn’t doing much good. Hop probably thought the worst of him, but it was partially his fault. His fault for letting Avery fall for him, for giving him the time of day when nobody else would, and for having the nerve to fall in love with _someone else._

Couldn’t he see that Avery just wanted to prove how much he loved him?

He laughed through his nose, because try as he might, he knew there wouldn’t be much point in trying to calm Hop down. He was already scared, already past the point of no return. “I wouldn’t just do this with anyone, Hop. This is only for you—because I love you.” Heat gushed to his cheeks, because every time he looked into Hop’s eyes, he couldn’t believe how beautiful he was, how lucky Avery was to have met someone like him.

And Hop trembled, shivering so bad that Avery could feel _every single_ tremor that he made, hear every soft gasp that escaped his mouth whenever he kissed his face, when Hop tried to move out of the way from him, only for Avery to kiss his cheeks instead. “A-Avery, I don’t—” Another gasp, right when Avery grinded into him, and he moaned above him, because Hop was _driving him fucking crazy._ How was it possible for one person to have this much of an effect over him? “I don’t want to do this with you.”

That didn’t stop him though. Avery just settled with planting more kisses on his face, trying to get at his mouth, but every time he did, Hop pulled away. “You will, my love. Don’t worry.”

“Get off me.”

“Not until we’ve made love.”

It was so subtle that Avery almost didn’t notice, but there was a moment when Hop went completely limp below him, and when Avery leaned off him, could see most of the color had drained of his face. He’d been immobilized by the statement, but soft gasps were coming out through his mouth every so often, and Avery released one of his wrists to grip hold of his chin. Gently as he could, he pulled Hop’s face back to face him, where he stared into his eyes, and Avery gave him the softest smile he could muster.

“Don’t be afraid. I promise you I won’t hurt you, Hop. I love you too much for that. Just lie there and let me show yo—”

But when tears formed in Hop’s eyes, Avery stopped himself. Hop blinked them away before they could fall, but his eyes never left Avery’s, and he only continued breathing harder and harder below him, until Avery was sure if he pressed his hand against his chest, he would feel his heart beating frantically.

“Pl-please, Avery—you don’t have to do this—”

“I want to.” He smiled at him. Any ounce of reassurance he could offer, he would give it to Hop. “I love you, Hop.”

“B-but…but—” Hop averted his gaze off to some random spot on the wall behind Avery. “I…I love Raihan.” Blush coated his cheeks when he said that, and it took all of Avery’s willpower not to snap right then and there.

He loved Raihan—he loved that man, _but he didn’t love Avery?_ Why didn’t Hop love him? Why—after all the times they’d spent together, all those late nights they’d spent together, all those times Avery felt he had finally made a connection with someone who gave a damn about him when his own family abandoned him—why didn’t this person feel the same?

Why couldn’t Hop just love him?

“You…” Avery swallowed, his voice shaking, his grip on Hop’s wrists waning as he struggled to compose himself, but it was hard not to break out into hysterics right now. Hop had no idea just how much he was holding back, but the power inside of him was swelling, and if he wasn’t careful, it was going to burst out, possibly at Hop’s expense. “You don’t even know what you want.”

Hop snapped back up at him. “Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid!”

“You’re not _stupid_ , Hop!” His grip on his wrists tightened, until he could see Hop wincing at it, and he hadn’t meant to do that, but dammit—he was losing himself. “You aren’t stupid. You just don’t realize what you’re saying.”

Hop frowned up at him. “I’m allowed to like whoever I _damn well_ want to!”

“Why can’t you just—” Avery bit his lip, the rest of his sentence trailing off.

Why couldn’t Hop just love _him?_

Swallowing, Avery fought hard to keep a grip on himself, but he was failing with every second that passed. “Just listen to me, Hop—that man is no good for you! He’s just using you—he doesn’t even know you! I know you better than he ever could.”

When Hop glared up at him, Avery could feel his blood run cold at the sight of it. Never had he ever wanted to see a look like that on his face, on his lover’s face, glaring with so much intensity that he swore it was physically stabbing him. “You’re _not_ Raihan. You’ll _never_ be him. I’m allowed to like whoever the fuck I want to, and you have _no right_ to tell me what I can and can’t do!” He shifted below him in an attempt to buck Avery off, but he failed. “Now get the fuck off me!”

No.

Avery was trembling, his glasses fogging from the heat on his face as he stared down at such a hateful look on Hop’s face. All of it directed at him.

_No…_

His chest was tight, constricting to the point he thought he might suffocate, his stomach churning with nausea that threatened to spill up. Tears welled in his eyes again, falling despite how much he hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Hop like this, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Avery’s lip quivered, the pain of his chest hurting so much that he swore Hop may as well have broken his heart in two. To hear him say such things to him—it was clear now.

Avery wasn’t going to get through to him. Not like this.

His power erupted from him like an explosion, and Hop gasped below him when Avery pushed him back with telekinetic energy. It would only hold him down for a moment, but while Hop struggled, Avery shot his hand toward his bag. The rope he had tucked away in the bottom snaked out, flying into his hand and he unraveled it, never tearing his gaze from the horrified look on Hop’s face.

With the telekinetic energy holding him down, Hop could do nothing as Avery gripped both of his wrists, tying them together with the rope before moving them above his head. It wouldn’t incapacitate him like he wanted, but it might keep him from pushing against him when he had to release the energy. Hop struggled, but Avery held him down with his weight alone, gripping hold of his trousers before yanking them down below his hips.

“A-Avery!” With his wrists bound, held down by Avery’s free hand, Hop could do little but thrash below him as he pulled at his trousers. With all the kicking he was trying to do, Hop was inadvertently helping him undress him, but Avery wasn’t about to complain. “Stop! Let me go—dammit, _stop it!_ ”

Avery said nothing, but he wasn’t stopping. His heart hurt too much, his throat was too tight, and he would probably vomit if he said anything else to Hop right now. Ignoring his protests, he discarded his trousers off to the side, grabbing to pull his boxers down below his hips and exposed Hop’s crotch. With all his focus being on undressing Hop, he was forced to release the psychic energy holding him down, and could feel him struggling more and more with the weight off him.

Gasping at the sight of Hop’s crotch, Avery felt the heat below his legs gather all at once, and his cock twitched. Hop was beautiful, even down here, even between his legs, he was perfect and beautiful. There was nothing more Avery wanted to do than suck his cock right now, but with the way Hop was fighting him, he didn’t think that would be possible. Instead, he gripped hold of his thigh, hoisting him up until he had him propped in his lap, and Hop gasped below him when he no doubt felt Avery’s bulge digging into his bottom.

“Avery, _let go of me, **dammit!**_ ”

With Hop’s wrists still held above his head by his free hand, Avery having propped Hop into his lap where he couldn’t close his legs, he ignored him, reaching out to grip hold of his cock. Hop arched back when he did, his face ablaze with heat, but he only thrashed from side to side as Avery began to pump him.

If he could get him off, maybe Hop would see then. Avery wouldn’t hurt him. Wouldn’t dream of hurting someone he loved, but he just wanted to prove his devotion to him, wanted to show Hop how in love with him he was. If this was what it took, to hold him down by force like this—then that’s what it would take. Avery would go to any means necessary to prove his feelings to Hop once and for all.

And Avery pumped him. He held onto him gently, so as not to cause him pain or discomfort, stroking up and down, never once saying a word to him as Hop wriggled below him, straining to close his legs, Avery could feel him trying to maneuver himself out from around him, but he couldn’t. Hop’s wriggling only served to intensify the feeling, Avery could tell.

Despite how much Hop was trying, Avery could see he was biting back moans of pleasure. It was written all over his face, his embarrassment, his vulnerability, his shame—Avery could see all of it as he pumped him, and it didn’t take long for Hop to grow hard in his hand.

_Look at that._

Avery was compelled to laugh at him, to force Hop to watch as he pumped him, when precum began to leak from the tip, to prove to him that he was enjoying this, and he could complain all day, he could tell Avery that he loved that other man, but he knew the truth. The truth was that Hop was loving this, and maybe—

Avery bit his lip, increasing his speed as gently as he could as he dabbed some of Hop’s precum to slather down the length of his cock.

Maybe Hop would come to love him too.

“Avery…” Hop’s voice was breathless, like he had just run a mile, and with him in his lap, Avery could feel him trembling. Those tiny movements, unbeknownst to Hop, were driving Avery _fucking mad_ —and he rutted up against his bottom, the feeling going straight to his own cock and there was nothing he wanted more than to fuck Hop so bad right now.

But he buried those desires down for the time being, lest he get carried away and hurt Hop when that was the last thing he wanted to do. For now, he continued pumping him, enjoying the way Hop’s face flushed with pleasure, how he tried not to moan, but failed, the sounds becoming like music to Avery’s ears whenever he’d inadvertently moan at the feeling. It wasn’t until he could feel Hop thrusting up into his own hand that Avery pumped him faster, with conviction, and he knew Hop had to be close. It was no wonder he was thrusting against him like this—Hop was enjoying himself. He _had_ to be.

With a final stroke up his length, Hop arched backward, gasping when he did so, the moans bubbling out of his throat like he was struggling to catch his breath, and Avery sucked in air through his teeth when cum spurted out all into his hand. The sight alone was enough to make him hard, but the feeling of it was what drove it home for him. With Hop’s cum against his palm, Avery kept stroking him, hoping to ride the feeling out as long as he could, and he didn’t stop until Hop finally quieted down below him.

With his face flushed, his breathing heavy but even, Hop slumped on his back, his eyes lidded and glazed with pleasure, and Avery didn’t waste anymore time. Propping Hop up to reach him, he took his hand that was coated with his cum, squeezing Hop’s wrists that were still held down by his other hand, and shoved one finger inside of him. Still caught in his post orgasmic haze, Hop wriggled below him, slamming his eyes shut at the no doubt invasive feeling Avery was pushing onto him, but he mumbled below him, his voice low.

“A-Avery, please—” He paused as Avery shoved another finger inside of him, scissoring them back and forth, stretching Hop as far as he could go. He used Hop’s own cum as lubricant of sorts, since he hadn’t brought any with him, it would have to do for now. The longer he sat there fingering him, the more Avery was getting off, enjoying the trembling of Hop’s body, how sweet his soft gasps were every time he stretched him, hoping that through this alone, he would be able to take his cock before too long. Hop swallowed as Avery continued stretching him, scissoring, but being as gentle as he was able, hoping to coat as much of Hop with his own cum as possible. “P-please don’t do this. I-I’m begging you—please—”

As much as he wished he could, Avery couldn’t say anything to comfort him. No matter what he said to him, how he said it to him, he knew that Hop wouldn’t understand his words. That’s why he was resorting to this—that’s why Avery was doing this, because Hop would understand once they made love. He would know through the feeling alone, because words were useless. Avery had already figured that out, though it did him no damn good.

But despite that, he looked down at Hop’s face to see tears were gathered in the corners of his eyes, his face still flushed from orgasm, but no less terrified at what he was doing. He just wanted Hop to understand this wasn’t anything bad or scary. Avery’s cheeks heated. It was love. He just wanted Hop to love him in return. That’s all he wanted.

Releasing his wrists that were still bound, Avery gently guided his palm down the side of Hop’s face, cupping his cheek, and bent over, being as deliberate as he could stand, knowing Hop could feel his erection digging into him and gaining a strangled gasp when he kissed him. His mouth was so soft against his, but he didn’t pull away, and Avery indulged. While he continued to finger Hop, stretching him, doing everything in his power to make him as comfortable as possible, he kissed him like he was starving for him, like Hop was the only thing on this island that could save him from it—and maybe he was. Maybe he really was meant for Avery all this time. Meant for him to take him away. They were destined to be together, he knew it. Even if Hop couldn’t see it now, he would see it once Avery made love to him.

Leaning up from the kiss, Avery stared down at Hop’s lidded eyes, enjoying the blush that coated his cheeks. When Hop spoke, it was barely more than a whisper. “Pl-please don’t…”

Avery removed his fingers, gripping hold of his shorts to release his erection, and he gave Hop a final, hopefully reassuring smile. “I love you, Hop.”

And he pushed into him.

Immediately, Hop bucked up backwards, as though trying to separate them, but Avery held on, reaching up to grip hold of his thigh and pull Hop back toward him. “Don’t do that.” That wasn’t supposed to sound as demanding as it was, but now that he was inside of Hop, his desire was aching, and he fought to be gentle as he pushed his entire length into him.

Hop made a strangling sort of sound, like a mix between a choke and a gasp, and he only struggled for a moment, as though afraid to move, like he might break something, before he fell limp beneath him. Maybe he had given up on struggling, but Avery wasn’t about to let the chance slip away from him. As slowly as he could stand it, he began to thrust in and out of Hop, hoping that he wasn’t hurting him by doing so, but Hop had slammed his eyes shut, his bound wrists clutched to his chest as he wrung his own shirt in his fingers, as though desperate for something to hold onto, but Avery didn’t chastise him for it. Whatever Hop needed as comfort right now, he would give it to him.

With Hop wrapped around his cock like this, Avery began to create a rhythm, moving his position slightly enough that Hop wasn’t completely in his lap anymore, but lying beneath him again. It was to ensure Hop’s comfort yes, but also Avery’s. He needed a better angle to reach him, and this was the most promising at the moment. Maybe later, they could get more creative with it, but for now, Avery chose to bend over him, propping his legs up to reach him while he thrusted in and out of him.

Despite his creeping orgasm, the sight of Hop cringing below him made Avery frown, and he reached over, as much as possible, to drag his palm down the side of his cheek. He wished he was enjoying himself, not looking as though this was the most miserable thing he’d ever done. “Does—” He suppressed a moan as he thrusted, Hop rocking back beneath him. “Does it hurt?”

Hop didn’t respond. He only continued to cringe with his eyes slammed shut, teeth gritted as Avery pumped every inch of himself into him, rocking Hop below him with every thrust that he made until the both of them were moving in sync with one another.

Removing his hand from Hop’s thigh, Avery reached up to run his fingers through Hop’s short locks. “Please, Hop. Am I hurting you? Talk to me.”

Through his grit teeth, Hop finally spoke, but it wasn’t directed at Avery. It was barely loud enough that he could hear, but what he did hear sent a horribly cold shiver down his back. “Raihan… _h-help me_ … ** _please_**...”

And Avery released his hands from his hair, giving Hop a particularly harder thrust that he hadn’t meant—but dammit, he couldn’t help it. How could he say that man’s name while Avery was doing this? How could he lie there and think about someone else while Avery was the one making him feel like this?

His chest hurt, but Avery simply gripped hold of Hop’s cock once again, gaining a sharp gasp from him when he did so, but no more resistance, and he pumped him in time with his thrusts. The sound of that man’s name seeping from his mouth like that would have been enough to kill Avery’s desire completely, but he was determined to show Hop his true feelings, and he continued thrusting with gusto. Every move he made, every pump he gave to Hop, he was careful and calculative with it, making sure to study Hop’s face for the first signs of pain if he could.

Hop never cried out while he went into him over and over, and Avery took that to hopefully mean he had gotten used to his cock, but he picked up his speed, his orgasm creeping again, but he pumped Hop faster, not able to help the bundle of excitement that settled into his stomach when Hop was hard for him again. It was almost too easy for Avery to get him off, and Hop was no doubt sensitive to things like this, but Avery wanted to think it was because he was sensitive to _his touch_ and _his touch alone._ Hop wouldn’t get this excited for just anyone. Just Avery.

It was enough to make a small smile form on his face, and Avery allowed his moans to escape when he rutted into him, rocking Hop below him with every movement he made. As he stroked him, Hop began to thrust up into his hand, and it pleased him to no end to see him get into this. As much as he fought against him, insisted he didn’t like Avery like this, he certainly was enjoying himself, that was for sure.

Still, Avery wished he would look at him, hating how he was gritting his teeth shut, but it could be easily forgiven in favor of how vocal he was being. Avery never took Hop for one to be noisy in bed, but here he was, moaning for him, gasping and sucking in air when Avery was no doubt overstimulating him, but he was drinking up every single sound Hop made, every movement he exhibited below him—Avery drank it all in like he was getting drunk off it.

When Hop arched back, unloading a second time into Avery’s hand, he lost it. Hearing those sweet, unfiltered sounds from Hop—sounds Avery never knew could sound so _beautiful_ , especially from the one he loved, he thrusted into Hop all the way to the hilt of his cock and came. Gripping hold of Hop’s thighs to keep him steady, Avery rode out his orgasm, gasping and sucking air in huge gulps as he pumped himself dry, as every one of his feelings for Hop came out at once.

This was his love. This was Avery’s love for him. Hop had to see that. He had to. _He **had** to_—he had to see Avery loved him so much and this was why he did this—this would only prove he was much better for him than Raihan. Avery knew. He just knew now that Hop would understand, if nothing else, _how much he loved him._

With his orgasm fading away, Avery slumped on top of Hop, exhausted and breathing heavy, Hop sucking in small breaths below him, his breathing finally evened out, and the two of them stayed like that for what felt like hours. Just breathing. Breathing and existing with one another.

Hop never moved below him, but when Avery had caught his breath, the haze of orgasm leaving him much too quickly, he leaned off him, and pulled out, the sight of his cum seeping from Hop’s bottom enough to make him smile. Only Hop could get him that excited, only Hop would ever know what this felt like with Avery, because Hop was the only person he had ever loved.

Avery looked over at him, his smile falling the instant he caught sight of Hop’s face. His eyes had opened finally, but were lidded, and he was staring off into space, a stream of tears falling down his face. His mouth was parted where Avery could hear small, strangled breaths make their way out.

He reached over, dragging the edge of his knuckles down Hop’s face, wiping some of his tears away. “Hop, don’t cry, please.”

Instead of responding, Hop only slammed his eyes shut, causing more tears to leak out as he turned his face away from Avery, not wanting to look at him. He never spoke back to him, only sniffled and cried silently as Avery pet his face.

It should have made him feel guilty to have made Hop cry like this, but Avery couldn’t help to feel a sense of ease instead. The way he saw it, he doubted Hop would continue with that supposed relationship he had with Raihan. If that man ever found out Hop had been intimate with another man, would he abandon him? Would he call him disgusting? A cheater? Avery didn’t know, but he didn’t care either way.

Hop was _his_ now. He had taken away his chances of ever being with Raihan—and Avery loved that more than anything.

Bending over, he planted a soft kiss to Hop’s trembling lips as he continued crying, and Avery smiled at him before he leaned back. He ran his fingers through Hop’s hair one more time. “I love you, Hop. I always have.”

He bent back over, kissing the side of Hop’s face, reaching up to undo the ropes from his wrist and free his hands, giving him a small hug when he lifted him from the ground, showering his face in small kisses when he did so. And…

And he would _always_ love him. No matter what. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hop’s room never felt so large. Even when he was younger and the world was something much greater and bigger than he ever thought it could be, in this moment, as he crossed the threshold, everything suddenly felt so much more overwhelming. His bed felt out of place. His television felt out of place.

Hop felt out of place.

It had been two weeks since he returned from the Isle of Armor to do his field work, and he’d returned home to a very happy Sonia once he turned over his findings and research. She didn’t appear to notice anything was amiss, at least not right away. Gloria and Victor had wanted to catch up with him at some point, but—it had been two weeks.

Returning from the lab every evening felt like an agonizing uphill climb each time Hop would leave the lab to walk the ten minutes it took to get back home. It was almost like no matter where he went, someone was hiding in the shadows, watching him, waiting for him to lower his guard until he inevitably put his defenses down and they would pounce. Of course, there was no person hiding in the bushes. No person darting behind buildings to stalk him as he went to and from home, no mysterious shadow looming over him anytime he left.

But, Hop couldn’t help the paranoia that consumed him. It didn’t matter how long it took, how he tried so hard not to go anywhere but his own house, and the lab, he felt too vulnerable going anywhere else. What if Avery followed him home? What if Avery was the shadow in the trees, the rustle of the bushes, the figure he’d see out of the corner of his eye every single time he’d leave the safety and comfort of the lab?

What would Avery do to him if he managed to catch him alone again? Hop never stopped cursing himself for cornering himself in the cave like that, allowing Avery to hold him down, whether or not with psychic power, the point still stood that Hop hadn’t taken any precautions, because—because he thought he could trust him. Hop thought Avery was kind—and he was. Avery had been nothing but polite and kind to Hop ever since he stepped foot on the island. How could Hop have possibly suspected Avery was capable of…that. Of things like that. Of doing something like that to someone.

Hop cringed every single time he thought back to the night in the cave, when the storm was blowing over them. He had gotten way too comfortable around Avery, he thought he’d found someone he could relate to, to share his secrets with, but—

Tears threatened to surface, but Hop blinked them away. No. Fuck that, fuck that so much, he had no right to cry about what happened to him. It was his fault for lowering his guard around Avery. It was his fault for giving the guy the benefit of the doubt, for thinking he was nothing but a rather awkward fellow who enjoyed Hop’s company. And apparently, he just enjoyed his company way too much. Enough to hold Hop down down—

He shook his head, blinking the rest of the tears away as he did so. What right did Hop think he had to get upset about what happened? It’s was so stupid. So fucking stupid. He should have never gone into the cave with him. He should have never invited Avery along to do field work with him and gotten himself in that situation. Hop had nobody to blame but himself for what happened, especially since he hadn’t been able to fend him off, because he couldn’t even fight back when it happened.

What kind of pathetic person was he to allow something like that to happen? It only made him realize how weak he truly was, how out of his league he was with this whole professor dream of his. If he couldn’t even fight off another trainer who—Hop quickly swallowed that thought down—if he couldn’t even take care of himself, then what the hell was he doing? Why did he think becoming a professor would somehow negate all his weaknesses? He hadn’t been able to make it in the gym challenge after all. For all his gushing and tough talk, he sure did lose pretty fast. He couldn’t even make it to challenge Leon, and that was truly pathetic of him.

Hop sighed, allowing his aching body to slouch down in his seat at his desk. He never did much once he returned home, other than rest his head against his desk, sometimes drifting off, sometimes simply lying down in bed where he curled up under the covers and hoped to hell Avery didn’t find his house.

A small vibration reverberated off his desk and Hop lifted his face to see his phone going off. It was an unknown number, one he didn’t recognize, and his heart pounded a bit in his chest as he waited impatiently for the damn thing to ring itself out. He never picked up his phone when it rang anymore. Not even when it was from Gloria or Victor. They’d been sending him a slew of messages the past couple weeks, wanting to hang out with him, but Hop couldn’t. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bear to face them knowing that he couldn’t save himself from what Avery did to him.

After several long, agonizing rings, the phone went silent, and Hop waited for a few tentative seconds until his voicemail tone went off. Picking up his phone, he swiped it open to see a short, ten second voice message, and contemplated deleting it before even listening to it, but his curiosity won him over and as he took a big gulp, he played the voicemail.

“Hop, I—”

_Delete._

The split second he heard that voice, Hop hit the delete button as fast as he could, his heart pounding so hard, it was almost painful. Avery had been texting him ever since he got back, but Hop quickly blocked his number, not wanting anything more to do with him. The text messages he did read consisted of horribly sick things, like how Avery was going to come get him one day, how much he loved him, how he longed for Hop’s company—and he couldn’t read anymore. Hop simply deleted them, blocked Avery’s number, and hoped for the best that the guy never came back to Galar to look for him.

Though Hop was pretty sure his time on the Isle of Armor was limited, and he would be back soon, but he tried not to think too hard about it. It was stressful enough thinking that Avery was stalking him when Hop was pretty sure he was still stationed on the island, but if he ever found out Avery was back, he would go fucking insane.

Once he’d blocked him, Hop began receiving calls from unknown numbers, or numbers he didn’t recognize, and he never, ever picked up the phone. He simply blocked and continued with his life, but the calls kept happening. Twice per day, everyday for two weeks, until it was only once per day, and now apparently Avery was getting bold and sending him voice messages, but simply the sound of his voice was enough to make Hop nauseous until he wanted to chuck his phone out the window.

He wanted nothing more to do with Avery—he thought he’d made that perfectly clear back on the Isle of Armor, but after seeing what the guy was capable of, Hop feared him hunting him down, maybe even kidnapping him, and taking him away. Though, try as he might to convince himself that Avery wouldn’t dare do that when he knew who Hop’s brother was, how people would definitely notice and find him, and Avery couldn’t afford to have the authorities chasing him down, it wasn’t enough to stave Hop’s fear that the man would snap and come after him.

Still, that fear wasn’t enough for Hop to give in and answer the phone. He’d just keep ignoring him, hoping Avery would get over this weird obsession and move on with his life.

However, Hop had also been ignoring his friends since coming back. Sonia and Mum were about the only people he talked to everyday, and even then, there wasn’t much conversation to be had. Mum only asked him the basics, Sonia only ever really conversing with him when it was needed for a project, but Hop was grateful they weren’t really pestering him about things too much. To Mum, Hop just appeared tired, and to Sonia, Hop just appeared bogged down with all the work they’d been doing. Neither of them seemed to notice how much he’d changed since coming back.

And maybe Hop needed a little vacation from all this, but he was more or less going about his daily life as normally as was possible. If he focused on his tasks at the lab, the day would go by faster. If he got home as quickly as possible once the day was done, he could curl up and go to sleep. Once he was asleep, if he was lucky, he wouldn’t dream about it anymore.

It’d been two weeks. Two. Weeks.

Hop was slowly losing himself to this insanity. How long would it be before he broke down crying about it? How long would it be before Mum noticed his behavior was about more than being worked too hard? How long before Sonia cornered him and demanded to know why he was starting to slack at the lab? When were the twins going to come find him, begging for answers, and—

Hop swallowed, having placed his phone back on his desk as he stared down at his own feet.

How long until Raihan figured out what was going on? Gloria and Victor weren’t the only people who’d called and texted him. Raihan was one of the first people to try and contact him the day Hop returned home. Raihan sent a text to him every single day, without fail, asking how he was doing, wondering how his time on the island went, asking for Hop to meet up with him in Hammerlocke so they could talk about it over coffee.

But it was coming upon three weeks now, and Raihan’s texts were sounding more desperate. It wasn’t just the usual asking how Hop’s day went, how he was doing, but more frantic. More often than not, Hop awoke in the mornings to see texts like,

_‘Hop talk to me’_

_‘R u ok??? Pls talk to me’_

_‘Hop whatever is going on please let me know if ur ok I’m super worried about u please’_

Hop had blocked Avery. He even blocked the twins so they couldn’t contact him anymore. But Raihan—he couldn’t bring himself to block his number. As horrible as his texts made him feel, because Hop had no right to go crying to Raihan about this, knowing that he cared about him enough to send a text was enough push for Hop to get out of bed some mornings. He never replied. He didn’t feel he had the right to reply to those, after having ignored him for so long.

And really, what would Raihan even say to him once he found out what happened? He’d probably be ashamed of him that Hop couldn’t save himself from that situation. He’d probably be disgusted Hop was nothing more than used goods at this point, because it hurt to think that in the heat of the moment, Hop had confessed to Avery he was in love with Raihan.

His cheeks gushed heat at the memory of it. It wasn’t that he was lying just to get Avery off him, it was the truth. The genuine truth. Hop _loved_ Raihan, he’d been in love with him for ages now, but after what happened, did he honestly think Raihan would give him the time of day?

Avery had taken something from him Hop hoped he could keep for Raihan. Avery took his first kiss. Avery saw him at his most vulnerable, at his most broken, Avery had seen Hop at his lowest, and he would never forgive himself for allowing it to happen in the first place.

He could have saved himself. He could have finally gathered the courage to confess to Raihan, to know if he felt the same, but—

Tears formed in his eyes again, Hop blinking them away just as fast. But, it didn’t matter anymore. None of that mattered. He was damaged goods, he was a pathetic excuse for a trainer, for a person, and Raihan would never love him anyway, even if he hadn’t had this happen to him. The fuck made him think Raihan of all people would reciprocate his feelings?

Raihan was a gym leader, close to being just as famous as his brother in some regards. What right did Hop think he had to assume his feelings would be returned? They had only hung out as friends, as close friends, Raihan texted him every day, even the two weeks Hop spent ignoring his friends, blocking any random numbers Avery called him from, and still, he ignored those who claimed to care for him.

Because he was scared.

He was scared of losing them, of losing Raihan especially.

His hand clenched into a fist as he hung his head, as his phone buzzed with a text message, one he couldn’t even be bothered to answer right now. His phone had been buzzing a lot more often lately than it had the previous week, usually always consisting of texts from Raihan, but did Hop ever bother to reply to him? To reach out? To ask for help?

No.

He didn’t deserve help. What happened to him was his fault, he knew that, and Hop knew he should have been dealing with this bullshit himself. There was no point in wallowing in self pity when he had field work to complete, reports to go over, studying to do, even if he was slacking a bit, eating less, losing weight, losing sleep—none of it mattered anyway.

Hop sighed, nabbing his phone to see that Raihan had texted him, more frantic and worried texts that were becoming commonplace now. And he placed his phone back down where he wouldn’t have to see the screen.

Used goods. That’s all he was now. Raihan would never love him. His friends would probably blame him. Mum would probably be disgusted with him if she ever found out what he’d allow to happen. And—

He swallowed, the beating of his heart one of the loudest sounds he’d ever heard then as it rang in his ears. And if Avery ever came to look for him, he would just have to save himself next time. There’d be no more cowering away, no more simply blocking his number. It was a fear that followed Hop every waking minute of his life, sometimes seeping into his nightmares, of Avery finding him, doing something awful to him, or taking him away somewhere. Hop didn’t know. He couldn’t put it past him anymore, not after that.

The orange glow of the evening sun settled down around his room, the shadows growing larger and larger, Hop having been seated at his desk for how long, he didn’t even know anymore. When the moon was finally visible through his window, Hop stood from his desk, peeled back the covers on his bed, climbed in, and stayed there to stare at the ceiling until he fell asleep.

* * *

Postwick was still drenched in the early morning fog by the time Hop emerged from his house that day. The sun had barely risen, only reminding him how early it was, and he tried to blink the sleep from his eyes as he tugged the strap of his bag up his shoulder while he rounded the corner down the path toward Wedgehurst. It had become more and more the norm that Hop rarely got any sleep, but last night was particularly bad. Raihan had texted him about ten different times up until midnight, all of which Hop didn’t reply, or even read if he was honest.

He knew blocking Raihan would probably be the best thing to do, as each time his phone buzzed, his heart rate skyrocketed from the anxiety, but he also felt horrible doing that. What was the point in ignoring someone like that if he was just going to torture himself? Maybe that _was_ the point. Maybe Hop deserved to feel this way because of what happened.

It was only about seven that morning, the grass glistening with dew, the fog having not cleared off quite yet, and as Hop yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes during his walk, his phone buzzed from inside his bag. It was either Raihan or Sonia, and he bet all the money in his pocket it was from Raihan. He had drifted off to sleep clutching his phone the night before, not reading the texts that were sent, but simply seeing Raihan’s name on his phone gave him a weird peace of mind, despite his anxiety and stress. Hop might have been able to drift off to sleep, but the problem he’d been facing was _staying_ asleep, as his nightmares were becoming more frequent, and constantly waking up every night, every hour, was more or less a habit than anything.

After all, what if Avery showed up outside his door? What if he was grabbed while walking to the lab, much like he was doing now? Paranoid thoughts like that invaded every facet of his mind, and it was all Hop could do to keep from breaking down.

Knowing Raihan was still texting him, while Hop was too afraid to answer back, made him feel a bit safer. Just a bit. Even if it didn’t really matter in the end, Hop would take the smallest slivers of comfort he could get.

As he approached the lab, Wedgehurst was very desolate that morning, and as a result, incredibly quiet, almost to an eerie level, but the quietness that surrounded him made the sounds from inside the lab that much louder. Hop approached the door, hand on the handle, before pausing right as he heard a familiar-sounding voice from inside.

The sentences were indistinct, like the person had been talking for awhile, but Hop only caught snippets of their voice here and there and his heart dropped.

 _Raihan_. Raihan was in the lab, apparently conversing with Sonia about something, as Hop could hear her voice now, and he backed away from the door like it just burned him, his heart beating harder and harder in his chest. Even from where he stood, his limbs beginning to tremble as he took a few steps back, he could feel his phone buzzing in his bag yet again, and Raihan’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“Still won’t pick up.” So it _was_ Raihan calling—he should’ve figured.

Then Sonia’s voice, “He’s seemed so tired lately, I don’t understand, but maybe I’m overworking him too much. He kept nodding off last time we did our fieldwork together.”

Hop was backing up, wanting to turn heel and run, get the fuck out of here, but a part of him was frozen in fear, fear that Raihan would somehow see him sprinting away, and then Sonia would have something to say about him skipping out on his work today, which would only cause more questions and lies he would have to think of, and—

Just as Hop backed up into the shrubbery behind him, the front door of the lab burst open, and there was Raihan, hand on the handle, obviously looking as though he were about to go barreling off somewhere, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he and Hop locked eyes, Hop already stiffened and frozen against the bushes.

The pair stood there for what felt like hours, simply staring at one another, Raihan’s stare of disbelief caused a feeling of guilt to swallow Hop whole like he never thought possible, and tears began to form in his eyes. Here he was, the person he’d wanted nothing more to see this whole time, the person he loved, the person he wanted to hold so that he could feel safe, but he didn’t have the right. Not after ignoring him. Not after going out of his way to cause Raihan trouble.

Hop didn’t have the right to ask Raihan for help. He was used goods. Damaged. Useless.

Hand still on the handle, still frozen, Raihan opened his mouth to say something, but Hop’s body suddenly jolted back to reality and he turned on his heels, sprinting away from him. He didn’t know where he planned to go, what he planned to do, but every muscle in his body was going wild with the fear of not wanting to talk to him, his body moving forward on its own, because _Hop just wanted to get the fuck away from here._ He didn’t want to deal with this.

“Not so fast!”

Before Hop had even dashed past the lab, one of Raihan’s large hands reached out, nabbing his arm, his fingers completely wrapping around him once, and he yanked Hop back before he could get too far. Hop’s body was still running on adrenaline, and he let out a yelp when Raihan grabbed him, turning back around to see all he’d had to do was lunge at him before reaching him, and his face showed he was none too pleased.

“Let go!” Try as he might, Hop couldn’t pull away from him, even as he reached out, grabbing Raihan’s wrist in an attempt to pull him off, the man wasn’t budging.

“No fucking way. You’re going to talk to me _right now_ and tell me what the hell is going on. I’ve been worried sick about you, Hop!” He pulled him closer, until Hop was forced to face him, as Raihan used his free hand to grip hold of his shoulder, making absolutely sure Hop had nowhere to run. Even as he struggled, trying desperately to get out of Raihan’s grip, Hop knew he was doomed. There was no way Raihan was going to let him run away from this, and he almost started crying in frustration, because he didn’t want to fucking do this.

He didn’t want Raihan to hate him. He didn’t want him to think any less of him— _he loved him_. His worst fear was Raihan thinking of him as disgusting because of this.

“R-Rai, please…” His voice was trembling, even as Sonia poked her head out of the building to see what the commotion was about, Raihan never once lowered his gaze away from Hop, still giving him that hard stare. “I-I know I ignored you, but I-I can’t. I-I-I…” And curse his damn stuttering, every time Hop got upset, he just couldn’t get the words out, and he fumbled, looking like an idiot as he struggled to make a coherent sentence.

“What’s going on? Hop, are you okay?” Sonia called from the lab entryway, but Raihan, grip still wrapped thoroughly around Hop’s arm, finally turned away from him as he gave Sonia a small wave.

“Sorry, we need some privacy right quick. I’ll bring him back in a sec.” With that, without even waiting for Sonia to respond to that, Raihan’s grip still tightly wound around Hop’s arm, he strode off, dragging Hop behind him. Though he wasn’t exactly rough as he pulled him away, not _forcibly_ pulling him, there was still a sternness to his grip, as though expecting Hop to follow, which he did. There would be no getting around this—Hop was going to have to think of something to say, and his stomach threatened to expel the contents of his breakfast at the fact Raihan was going to demand he give him an explanation.

What the hell did he say to him? What the fuck was he supposed to say? The tears that had stagnated in his eyes finally began to fall, and as Raihan carted him off away from the lab, leading them down the path back to Postwick, Hop feared for a moment he would take him back home where he’d be forced to have this conversation in front of his mother, but Raihan steered off the path, toward a patch of shrubs and bushes. The morning dew made the grass stick to their shoes, and Hop could feel the humidity in the air already this early in the morning, a telltale sign of the incoming heatwave, but he allowed Raihan to lead him away from the dirt path, until they were alone in a small clearing just enough for a bit of privacy. The only sounds around them then were the far off cries of Pokémon and the incoming train pulling up in Wedgehurst.

Raihan stopped once he’d led them a good ways off, and released Hop’s arm, turning around to him, crossing his arms, and giving him an expected stare. “Talk to me, Hop. What’s been going on?”

He wasn’t necessarily angry, but Hop could definitely tell through his tone of voice that he wasn’t exactly happy with him after being ignored for two weeks. Hell, Hop didn’t blame him. He knew what he was doing the moment he chose to ignore him, but it was stupid of him to think he could just run away. He should have known Raihan would eventually come looking for him.

Better him than Avery.

Hop’s throat tightened at the image of that man’s face when he was on top of him ran through his head, and he shivered at the memory of how it felt to be pinned on his back, held down, not able to fight—

More tears fell, and Hop wiped his face, hating how he was crying in front of Raihan like this. Dammit, he didn’t have the fucking right to cry, not after what happened. What the fuck kind of trainer was he supposed to be? No wonder he felt useless all the time—he _was_ useless. Hop was useless.

“Hop, don’t cry. I promise I’m not mad at you.” As he spoke, one of Raihan’s large hands came up to cup Hop’s cheek, caressing the tear streaks off as he rubbed small circles against him with his thumb. His voice was much softer, even as Hop sniffled and tried his hardest to stop crying, Raihan was gentle with him. He wiped the tears from his face, reached up to tousle his hair, and shushed him quietly as Hop fought to get a grip. “I’m worried to death. Please, tell me what’s happened.”

Raihan was going to hate him. He would hate him, _he’d hate him, **he’d—**_

Hop opened his mouth, slamming his eyes shut while he continued wiping his face with his arm, hating how stupid he looked right now for blubbering, for causing Raihan so much trouble. “I-I-I—” He bit his lip, wishing he had the balls to bite hard enough to draw blood. He deserved it. “I’m s-sorry, Rai, I-I was scared!”

Raihan stopped patting his hair, and he let out a soft, gentle sigh before Hop was aware that he had fallen to his knees to get more level with him. When Raihan stood to his full height, he towered over him, but when he was on his knees, Hop wiped his eyes to see he was face-level now, offering him a reassuring, but concerned expression.

“You don’t have to be scared. Whatever has happened, whatever it is you’re upset about, I promise I’m going to help you, Hop.”

His hands were shaking, Hop having to clutch onto the front of his own shirt to keep from losing his damn mind right now. He wanted nothing more than to run away, far away from Raihan so that he wouldn’t have to do this, so that Raihan wouldn’t have to know of his shame, so that he wouldn’t have to know how weak he was.

After all, Hop could lie, but what would the point in that be? He could say he allowed Avery to have sex with him, he could say he lie there and took it, make Raihan hate him, because if Hop hadn’t really wanted it to happen, he would have fought harder. Right? Maybe he secretly wanted it, maybe he secretly wished Avery would hold him down and fuck him until he was crying. It wasn’t like Raihan actually liked him, so maybe Hop should just say that he wanted Avery to fuck him. It would be less humiliating that way if he made out like he’d wanted it. He wouldn’t have to live with the fact he couldn’t save himself.

Raihan wouldn’t think less of him if Hop simply lied, but—

While it would have been easier to do that, part of Hop was rotting on the inside at the idea of ever saying he wanted that to happen. He didn’t. He never wanted Avery to do anything like that, he wanted Raihan to—

Shivering, Hop bit his lip again. If he said the truth, Raihan would hate him, but wouldn’t he deserve that? Wouldn’t he deserve to be hated for what happened to him? Raihan didn’t deserve this. He shouldn’t have to put up with this just because Hop was a fucking moron. Because Hop was too stupid to save himself.

He deserved to have Raihan hate him.

Mouth quivering, hands shaking, Hop drew his face up, staring into Raihan’s eyes, his kind, soft eyes that Hop didn’t deserve to have placed on him, and forced himself to speak. “Y-you’ll hate me.”

Raihan shook his head. “I could never hate you, Hop. Whatever happened, I’m here for you, I’ll always be here for you.” Still smiling, still sporting that soft smile of his that never failed to make Hop feel warm inside, Raihan reached out to cup the side of Hop’s cheek, and gently pat him. “I love you, kiddo.”

Hop’s heart fluttered, but quickly died down. He didn’t mean _that_ kind of love. Raihan probably meant as a friend, maybe platonically, but Hop’s fears were rising, and he was prepared for Raihan to hate him over this, to take those words back, even though Hop wanted desperately for them to be true.

“A-Avery…” His hands wrung the collar of his own shirt as he fought to keep from crying all over again, his eyes already swollen from tears, his face already a mess, but Hop kept his voice low and composed, now having to look away from Raihan as he spoke. He couldn’t handle that look in his eyes. Raihan was going to hate him and Hop didn’t deserve his kindness. “When I was doing fieldwork back on the island, he—” Hop swallowed, still trembling, still fighting to keep himself in check. “It rained. We had to stay in a cave for shelter and he—” Hop’s words failed on him and he swallowed, trying to say it. Trying his hardest to say it, to just fucking spill it out, for Raihan to hate him.

Raihan’s hand traveled from his cheek down to his shoulder where he gave Hop a reassuring squeeze, ushering him to keep going. “What did he do to you, Hop?” His voice, while still gentle and coaxing, now gave way to a tone Hop could only describe as creeping rage, but he wasn’t quite sure yet. Hop didn’t know if he could handle Raihan being mad at him, but he lost his nerve right then and there at the sound of his voice and merely looked up at him, eyes bloodshot from crying, his face gushing with embarrassed heat, no doubt redder than hell right now, and he couldn’t even finish his sentence.

It had to be written all over his face. Raihan was perceptive, even if he didn’t show it all the time, he was very good at reading people, and Hop could see the change in his expression when it fell completely, and there was a fire in his eyes, his pupils even shrinking, giving him the appearance of something wild about to attack.

“Hop.” His grip on his shoulder tightened, but not hard enough to hurt, just enough for Hop to notice he was still being held by him. And then, “Hop, did he hurt you?”

His heart stopped, Hop’s breathing all but quieted, and he couldn’t even move anymore. He was frozen, frozen in fear as Raihan gripped his shoulder, and through his body language alone, he knew he didn’t have to respond to that. Allowing his gaze to fall from Raihan yet again, Hop stared down at his own shoes instead, feeling so stupid right now—he was so humiliated that this happened in the first place. He was humiliated Raihan was having to stand here and listen to him cry and blubber like a fucking moron.

What kind of person allowed this to happen to themselves? Hop was garbage.

“Hop.” Raihan spoke again, this time reaching up to grip his chin and gently, very gently, he raised his face so that Hop looked up at him again. Though his eyes were wild with fiery rage, there was a strange gentleness in Raihan’s expression that made Hop relax somewhat, and he allowed Raihan to lead his gaze upward. “You don’t have to give me details. You don’t even have to say a word about what happened, but just nod or shake your head at what I’m about to ask you.”

Heart thumping, cold sweat forming, Hop waited with bated breath as he prepared himself for whatever Raihan was about to say to him.

“Kid…” His stare only intensified, his brow arched, and even Raihan’s hands, which he’d placed on Hop’s shoulders, were trembling now. “Kid, did that Avery guy throw himself on you?”

Hop’s throat tightened, and at first he wanted to shake his head no. No, no, no, _nononono_ —it didn’t happen, Avery didn’t do anything to him, Hop was the one who—Avery didn’t do anything like that to him—who let that happen to themselves—Hop didn’t fight back hard enough—he didn’t—Avery _didn’t—Hop didn’t—_

Hop’s entire body shivered, until he was sure Raihan could feel it in his grip, he was shaking. The tears came back and fell silently down his face, but he looked into Raihan’s eyes.

And slowly nodded.

Raihan sucked in a breath like he’d just hurt himself, his grip on Hop’s shoulders tightening a bit too hard, but the second Hop winced, he backed off. Raihan was shaking, much like Hop was, but the look in his eyes—Hop felt his stomach drop at the sight of it. That soft expression was nowhere to be found, but instead, he saw the underlying presence of pure rage on Raihan’s face. Pure rage for either Hop or Avery, he didn’t know, but he wanted to cry all over again.

The moment Hop sniffled, still shivering, Raihan looped both arms around him, absolutely drowning him in warmth the moment he did so, and pulled him close. Hop yelped, more out of surprise than anything as he was pulled into Raihan’s chest, but he didn’t dare move. With his arms wrapped around him, Raihan buried his face into Hop’s neck, until he could feel his breath against the nape of his neck, and a cold shiver ran down Hop’s spine, not sure how to react.

“Kid— _Hop_.” Raihan’s warm breath felt so soothing against his bare skin, that Hop could feel his heart already beating slower, his shivering already softening. “Kid, I don’t give a fuck what that guy has said to you, what anybody has said to you. You listen to me, and you listen good, okay?”

He gave a short, fast nod, his lip quivering too much to respond.

“It’s not your fault, you hear me? It _wasn’t your fault_. It’s that fucking _asshole’s_ fault, you got that?”

“Y-you…” Hop swallowed, wishing Raihan would hold onto him forever and never let go. He hadn’t felt this warm and safe in so long, he forgot what it felt like. Avery made him feel so paranoid and exposed, he was constantly looking over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t pop up behind him. But, being in Raihan’s embrace like this gave Hop a sense of security he never thought he’d have the privilege to experience. He wanted to hug back, but he was cautiously still, not sure whether it would be appropriate or not. “You don’t…hate me?”

“No fucking way. I told you, Hop. I love you.”

His heart thumped in his chest again, a hopeful feeling of optimism pooling in his chest. “I…” He swallowed, fearful for what he was about to say, but not knowing he should care or not anymore. “I love you too, Raihan.” Raihan’s arms tightened around him, completely encasing Hop in his warmth, making him feel so, so safe.

“Kid.” Raihan’s voice was low now, but no less reassuring, no less comforting. “Please don’t ever think I would hate you over something like that. No matter what happens, you can come to me about anything, okay? I love you, babe, I’ll _always_ love you.” Hop could feel his mouth pressed against the bare skin of his shoulder, and wondered if Raihan had kissed him, but he wasn’t sure. “You mean the world to me.”

Hop sniffled, not sure how to take this. He’d been so scared the past couple weeks that Raihan would shun him, that once he found out what happened, he would drop him like that, be too disgusted to even look at him, but—here he was, holding him in his arms as though Hop would blow away in the wind, holding onto him in a way that made Hop feel so safe, so secure, something he’d been without for what felt like eons at this point.

He didn’t want Raihan to let go. He didn’t want him to leave.

Hop just wanted to stay here forever.

With fresh tears falling down his face, unable to stop the flow of emotions coming out, Hop gripped the front of Raihan’s shirt, dug his face into his chest, and cried. He cried for what happened to him, he cried for what he’d done to his friends and family ever since coming back, for shutting everyone out, for running away from it, for trying to pretend he could forget about what happened. Hop cried and cried, every emotion coursing through him then, spilling out in one ugly heap through his tears, through his sobs, and never once did Raihan let go of him.

He patted the back of his head, rocking Hop back and forth as he quietly shushed him, told him everything would be okay, how much he loved him, and Hop allowed it. He allowed himself to be rocked, to be held, for Raihan to run his fingers through his hair, and Raihan never pushed him away, even as Hop let out every single ounce of his anguish, of his fears, his anger, his happiness.

It was all gone.

Hop cried, clinging to Raihan, desperately clinging to him, never wanting this feeling of safety to leave him ever again, never wanting to feel as helpless as he did before, as used and thrown away. He wanted to be with Raihan. He wanted to stay with Raihan.

It might have been because he was emotional, but Hop was so purged of his feelings at this point, all he felt was an overwhelming numbness, a sense of ease, a sense of solidarity. When he lifted his face away from Raihan, his cheeks gushing heat, his eyes swollen, and his voice hoarse from sobbing so much, he couldn’t help himself. Maybe it was because he was overcome with emotion. Maybe it wasn’t.

But he reached up then, gripping Raihan by the side of his face, lifted himself up, and kissed him. Hop was running on pure emotion right now, the numbness becoming warmer the longer he stood there, and even then, even as he kissed him, even as he pressed his body so far against Raihan, he could feel the muscle through his shirt, Raihan never once pushed him away. As Hop kissed him, Raihan gripped the back of his head, pulling him closer, and kissed back.

It wasn’t as long of a kiss as Hop would have liked, but it wasn’t fleeting either. It felt like both a lifetime and a single second before he pulled himself away, still cupping Raihan’s cheeks, still gazing into his eyes, his eyes that were alive with fire, but also exuding kindness, and Hop dug his face into the crook of his neck.

“I-I love you.” He wrapped his arms around him, holding Raihan close, hoping he never lost this feeling of safety ever again. “I love you so much, Rai.”

One of Raihan’s hands came around to pat his back, rubbing soothing circles around as he only embraced Hop again. “I love you too, Hop.”

* * *

About a month had passed since the entire ordeal happened, and Hop was back at the lab with Sonia. Ever since he and Raihan reconciled, Hop had been doing much better, and Raihan made damn sure not to leave his side when he could help it. He’d even managed to convince his mum to let Raihan spend the night with him at the house, and more often than not, the pair would stay up late goofing off, but waking up in the morning sleepy because he’d been talking with Raihan was so much better than constantly waking up from the nightmares.

The nightmares still happened though much less frequently, but this time when Hop woke up in a cold sweat, he could easily ease himself back to sleep once he saw that Raihan was right next to him. It was strange how simply being with someone else like this gave Hop more security than he’d ever gotten to feel. After dropping him off at the lab, Raihan would leave for the day to do his own tasks, but he’d always pick up Hop at the end of the day to walk back home with him. At this point, the dragon trainer may as well have lived at the house with Hop, as he was always there.

Mum was even pleased to have him around, finding him good company, and though Hop didn’t dare tell her what happened, she seemed happy that Hop was finally becoming more or less his old self again—or at least, smiling again with Raihan around now.

Hop was over the moon at the fact he was dating Raihan now. Having been scared to death the man would reject his feelings, to find out they were mutual made Hop want to jump up and down in happiness. And Raihan really did take his role as Hop’s boyfriend to heart. He’d show up at the lab with flowers sometimes, take him out for dinner, buy him small gifts from time to time, and he was never ever late when it came to picking up Hop in the evenings to make sure he got home safe.

Raihan was true to his word, and Hop never knew being with someone he loved could feel this good. It was enough to win the battle when his thoughts went to dark places, when he’d sometimes think about Avery and try not to panic, Raihan was always there for him. Hop was even talking to Victor and Gloria again, sometimes the lot of them going out to do something fun, which only added more light to Hop’s life.

One evening as the sun was just shy of setting, Wedgehurst blanketed in an orange glow, Hop emerged from the lab to see Raihan leaning up against the side of the building, playing on his phone as he waited for him, and shot Hop a huge grin as he waved. Grinning back, Hop ran over to him, and like they did every evening, Raihan bent down a bit as Hop stood on the tips of his toes, gripping the tall man by his face before planting a kiss on his mouth.

“Hi! Missed you.” Hop shot him a grin.

Raihan gave him a toothy smile back. “Missed you too, babe. You’re the best part of my day, you know that?”

“So are you!”

As the pair walked and chatted, Raihan telling Hop about his day, Hop telling Raihan about his lab work, they reached the dirt path that led down to Postwick when Raihan suddenly went quiet. Hop perked up, wondering if his ranting about his lab stories was boring him.

“Rai? You okay?” He nudged his arm as he asked, jolting Raihan out of his thoughts. As he blinked in response, shooting a glance over at Hop, he gave him a soft smile.

“Yeah. Right as rain, sorry.” Then he bit his lip, something obviously on his mind, and Hop pressed him.

“Are you sure?” He arched his brow. “Look like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“Well…” He sucked in a breath, and Hop gave him a good-hearted slap on the arm.

“I knew it!”

Raihan threw his head back, holding out his hands in defeat. “Alright, you got me. I was wondering if I should tell you or not, but…” He gave Hop a bit of a sheepish look, stopping in his tracks before they reached the wooden fence that lead up to Hop’s house. Hop followed suit, pausing as Raihan let out a soft sigh. “I wanted you to know. About that guy…”

He didn’t even have to say his name for Hop to know he was talking about Avery, but his heart thumped in immediate response to the mere mention of him, and Hop felt a cold sweat prickle the back of his neck. “Y-yeah…?”

Raihan’s eyes softened, his grin never falling. “You don’t have to worry about him, okay? If you’re still afraid of him coming after you—don’t be.”

Hop didn’t exactly like the implications of what Raihan was telling him, and he probably had a look on his face suggesting what he was thinking, because Raihan cocked his head at him.

“What—come on, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t do anything bad to him, I swear.” He shrugged. “I just. **_Strongly_** suggested he never so much as think about you anymore or he’d regret it.” Then he grinned, shoving off his sharp fang to Hop. “I’m sure he got the hint, kid. I’m pretty persuasive if I do say so myself.”

Hop wasn’t sure what to do with that information, as he knew Raihan only wanted to protect him, and while he was glad his boyfriend hadn’t killed someone just for him, he was also…strangely relieved by this as well. Knowing Raihan, he was probably trying to lighten the load for Hop’s sake, but he couldn’t exactly get mad at him for that. Knowing there was someone here who cared about him so much he’d do anything to protect him made Hop feel warm inside, and he knew better than to ask for any details on what exactly Raihan had done to Avery.

It’d be better not to know, after all.

A small grin played on Hop’s mouth, and he found himself moving forward, clutching Raihan’s arm and holding onto him as he gave him a small hug. “…thank you…” If Raihan’s goal with that was to offer him comfort, then holy shit—it worked.

“Don’t thank me. I just want you to feel safe.”

Hop nodded. “I do.” And he nuzzled his face against Raihan’s arm, even as the taller man reached up with his free hand to ruffle Hop’s hair. “I love you, Rai.” And as he smiled, his heart fluttering in his chest, he reached up to kiss Raihan on the mouth.

Raihan bent over, meeting him halfway as they kissed, and he gave Hop one final, soft smile. “Love you too, Hop.”


End file.
